I am a seventy-something trans-woman and lesbian.  Whether you believe that or not is up to you.  I can only speak from my lived experience and, with seven decades of thinking about who and what I am behind me, I think I have a rather solid grasp on it.

 

I have known what I am my whole life.  I know I was born male and I know I'm a woman, so I am a trans-woman.  I love other women, and no place feels as comfortable to me as a lesbian bar, so a lesbian. I acknowledge the difference between cis- and trans-women, but for me to say anything else would be to lie about myself, and that is a line I will not cross.  I had forty years in the closet and that is more than enough.

 

And now, trans-people, especially in the US, are facing what is effectively a genocide.  If the bans on gender affirming care continue to spread, we will be looking at, possibly, thousands of suicides every year, especially trans-kids as they hit puberty.  And those of us who will not hide, will face assault and murder on an ever increasing scale.  

 

You will, I hope, forgive me if some of my poems are a bit ... tetchy.  

 

To the trans-kids facing puberty:

 

A lot of my poems are pretty depressing, but remember when I was growing up — the 50’s and 60’s. When I was born the word ‘transsexual’ didn’t exist, let alone ‘transgender’. Most of these poems, especially the older ones, are from my life, not yours, though, I admit, things are looking grim.  Again.

 

Remember, also, that this shit won’t last forever. If enough people rise up, we can be free again and this darkness will be no more than the shadow of a passing cloud. But even if it isn’t, I hope you fight on.

 

Puberty will suck, but when you’re old enough, there will certainly be a place where you can go live as your true self. It won’t be as good as growing up that way, but trust this old tranny — better late than never.  I spent years thinking it was too late for me, but I was wrong.

 

So, find strength where you can. Resist where possible and hide when you must. Have faith in what your heart tells you, preserve your soul for better times, and never, ever, give up.